Flu

Well lucky me i have been sick with the flu for about 4 days now. UGH it sucks. I HATE being sick. Not to mention i start my classes on Tuesday...which are all online thankfully. And Tuesday is St. Patricks day and there is a huge party here and i doubt ill be able to attend. *Sigh* oh well. Not like i drink anyways.

I am so homesick right now. And im not sure if its because im sick or if im just not happy here. I thought i could do this...but im not so sure anymore. I miss my parents so much. I miss seeing my friends. But i know if i were to go back home i wouldnt be happy there either. I dont know what to do. I know i need to give NE a fair chance but im feeling so depressed lately. I truly love Clay and it kills me to think of him with anyone else.....But i just dont know if im really cut out for this style of living. I thought i was...but maybe not. i just dont know what to think anymore. I just feel like ill never fit in here. arg this is so frustrating. What was i thinking in the first place? Oh yea...I love Clay and i thought this would be awesome. Im starting to feel really irritated and annoyed lately. And i cant just pinpoint it....its a whole mess of things. i cant believe im thinking all these things...when not that long ago i was convinced i could marry possibly marry this guy one day, UGH.

ok im feeling sick again....

xoxox