Your love is my drug....

Happy Hump Day =] June is seriously flying by! I cant believe the 4th of July is in 2 weeks! EEEEk! So, turns out last Friday I was over analyzing waaaaaaay too much and assuming the worst. I decided I need to stop being so damn negative when it comes to my relationship. I know in my heart that he is the one for me and thats that =] Speaking of which....Friday nite Jarron proceeded to tell me that "one day, Nicole, you will have my last name" AHHH! I was speechless! I was like...ok you better not being kidding cuz now youre just getting my damn hopes up! hehe. So as far as Im concerned, he is my Prince that I had been asking for and looking for. This relationship is so different than all of my other ones. I mean, we havent even fought! ha. But hes just so thoughtful and kind and sweet. He makes me laugh and hes always there to help me in any way I need him. He is so understanding and patient with me and my anxiety shit. But to be honest, my anxiety has seemed to become less and less and I dont know if he is part of the reason but Im happy! =] Of course I am still battling my emetophobia. =[ Which Jarron also suffers from mildy...not as extreme as me. And honestly, I dont think he realizes just how phobic I am about vomting and the thoughts that come with being emetophobic. It is so exhausting! However, he has been a huge support when I start freaking myself out. Im just so afraid that my anxiety and my slight nuerotic tendencies are going to scare him away eventually or he wont want to be with me. I mean, who wants to be with someone who is a constant mess? UGH

I had my first EMDR session last friday. It was interesting. Maybe im still too skepticle. I dunno. Ill give it a few more trys but if I dont feel any different, Im going to give up! Im so over this anxiety! I dont wanna focus on it anymore. I have been dealing with it for 3 damn years and its time for it to go away. And Im sick of worrying about vomit! its ridiculous! I finally feel happy and content enough, I found someone who really is wonderful and who makes me feel like every woman should feel and I will not allow my anxiety or phobia ruin it for me. Jarron makes me want to be better. I want to be healthly and worry free. and when Im with him, i get calm and i dont have a care in the world. He really is the One. Its so crazy. Ive known him for only 2 months! Thats insane. But, "when you know, you know" =]

SO I have exactly 5 classes left until I get my degree!!! AHH Im so excited. Im so ready to be done with school! =] But my GPA is so bad right now, so I have to step it up and start busting my ass more. I need to pull As till I graduate.

ok done typing....